Do They Sell Drugs for That?


It’s been almost one year since I begged for drugs. One year since I’ve been “clean” (but my house has been anything BUT that…).

Yep, one year
since the Tiny Human announced her early arrival and I announced my incredible discomfort (give me drugs… noooooooooow!).

The T.H. has been early ever since.

She loves mornings. “Just don’t get her up first thing,” the pediatrician says. “Train her to sleep.”

So let me get this straight… I’m supposed to train my child to do something I’ve never been able to do myself?

I come from a family of chronic insomniacs. The T.H. seems to fit right in. So far, the only person being trained is… the parents. We pick her up when she wants it.

Because, I mean, really… when she’s 25, is she going to bury her face in my neck and fall back asleep?

Eee. I hope not. But it has been a year already and she hasn’t figured out how to sleep.

Maybe I should start training her after all. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna need some pain-killer for the noise level, though.

Maybe my “clean” streak is about to end after all…

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